Writing these words, I gently peer from behind the comfort zone, which, as it turns out, is stronger than I expected. My first public text, something that can be considered a fulfillment of my dreams is overwhelming. I fight with thoughts, do I have something to say? Probably something would be found, but finding it in a place where I feel uncomfortable, in short, is difficult. We have created a platform through which I can share everything and choose something from the whole and for the first time it turns out to be cumbersome.
So I will not look far and focus on my last two weeks, the largest journey so far. A trip to America, short, intense and very spontaneous, came up with an idea and tickets were bought. We flew (in a triple) to Los Angeles, we rented a car, we did 4000 kilometers through San Francisco, Las Vegas and back to LA. My main and first observations are not about places, but about myself. It turns out that regardless of the continent and what I imagined, I am still the same person I was and the expectation that it will be different, in the place where I always wanted to go, is only hope. The problems I face every day are the same even in Los Angeles. I know this is quite obvious, but hope always dies last. I verified that regardless of the place, I still have my personal work to do, which is both comforting and depressing.
Another observation is the fact that I felt at home there. The huge amounts of American films I have absorbed during my life have done their job. I was surprised how little I am surprised. Climate, buildings, people, pubs – everything very familiar, as if I was already there, strangely natural. On the one hand, pleasant and safe, on the other, annoying. I realized that I had it in my head, everything I watched so far and how much attention I devoted, unconsciously, to imagining what the characters in my favorite films feel in a specific space. It turns out that I came up with this very aptly.
Nature was surprising, although also familiar, I did not feel space in front of the screen, I tried to imagine it, but in reality it is really spectacular. Endless roads, mountains, lakes, the ocean. Everything is bigger, trees, cones, flowers … I want to go back there longer, stay in one place and feel the space surrounding me. I have heard the opinion that it is not worth going to America for such a short time and in fact, it is not enough time, you can get tired and rebuff. However, I think that this teaser specified my needs, now I know what I would like to have for longer and what I can skip. I would certainly miss Las Vegas – big, shiny and noisy. I would stay longer in the desert, in small towns and by the ocean, I had too few animals. I think next time it will be less spontaneous and more thought-out. I also know that it will definitely happen, because I already feel the longing for this strange familiar place and for the sun, which is extremely refreshing in February.
The comfort zone has been exceeded.